I want to express my deep gratitude to the taxpayers of Colorado for bestowing upon me this brand-new vehicle. Truly, I extend my thanks to each and every one of you, for without your contributions, this would not have been possible.

Uncovering the Hidden Costs of a Taxpayer-Funded Electric Car

Section 1: My Automotive History

In my 60 years of life, I have never had the luxury of a brand new, off-the-lot automobile. Instead, I have always opted for used cars, and I mean truly used ones. After graduating from college, I purchased a seductive $500 Datsun 210 and sold it eight years later for $950. Currently, my trusty vehicle is a 2010 Nissan Altima. I bought it with 95,000 miles for just $6,000, and it now has over 200,000 miles and is still going strong. I have always been a fan of driving ugly, old used cars.The reason behind my choice of these cars is quite simple. I understand what women like. While they may not admit it openly, when a woman sees a bald man driving around in a 15-year-old, rusted-out Japanese car, she can't help but think, "Mommy wants me some of that."

Section 2: The Decision to Buy a New Car

So, why did I decide to buy a new car? It's not just about my boredom with hot women leaving their phone numbers under my windshield wiper blade. At my age, I believe it's time to start living more frugally and stop spending a fortune on chick-magnet hot rods. And there's nothing more frugal than having others pay for your vehicle.That's where you, the taxpayers, came in. Thanks to the obscene tax credits, mandates, and regulations imposed by those you voted into office, I didn't have to pay a significant portion of the cost of this car.

Section 3: The Nissan Leaf - A Taxpayer-Funded Golf Cart

Well, "car" might be a bit of an exaggeration. This is more like a golf cart with Bluetooth. It's a Nissan Leaf. The very thought of naming it made me feel like my man card was torn into confetti and blown into my face. But when I saw the deal I couldn't resist.My daughter likes to name our cars, like Mary the Mazda and Nancy the Nissan. After seeing me drive in with the testosterone-pumping Leaf, her reaction was simply, "Dad, let's just name it, Summer's Eve."Although it may not have the raw machismo of a ratted-out old Camry, why look a gift horse in the mouth? The list price of my new, all-electric 2025 Leaf is nearly $32,000, yet I only paid $15,000 for it. I got this new car for 53% off thanks to environmental cronyism. There aren't many decent used cars available at this price.

Section 4: The Hidden Costs of Environmental Cronyism

This $17k in welfare went to an upper-middle class White guy like me to put a second car in his two-car garage. I now have a backup car for short trips. Most all-electric cars are second or third cars for White people who could afford another car without the welfare. And yet, the left continues to yap about systematic racism?The feds threw $7,500 at my new toy, and the state of Colorado chipped in another $2,500. While Colorado struggles to fix its roads and the governor plans to cut road funding by $100 million, this money was used to subsidize my electric car.Car manufacturers are bound by regulations that limit their tailpipe emissions. When they exceed these limits, they have two options: build all-electric vehicles and give them away at below cost, like my Leaf, or buy tailpipe emissions credits from their competitors. The last $7,000 in welfare I received comes from higher prices you, the consumers, must pay for the cars you actually want.Tesla's biggest profit center is not sales but selling its pollution credits to its competitors since none of their fleet has tailpipes. The company is entirely built on tax credits and tailpipe regulations. Without them, no electric car could compete in the market.

Section 5: The Environmental Impact of the Nissan Leaf

Of course, my new manly Leaf is supposed to save the environment since it has no emissions. But here's the catch - most of Colorado's electricity is produced by coal and natural gas. In a way, it's like saying, "Coal, it's what Teslas eat for dinner."Despite the claims of environmental benefits, the reality is that our actions have a significant impact on the planet. We need to be more aware of the true costs and consequences of our choices.In conclusion, while I am grateful for this taxpayer-funded electric car, we must also consider the broader implications and hidden costs. It's time to have a more honest conversation about the role of government subsidies and environmental policies in our lives.