A football club in the UK is bringing together men who have suffered the loss of a child, offering them a unique form of support. Sands United teams across the country provide an environment where these individuals can find solace and camaraderie through sports. Established to combat the silence often surrounding infant loss, the charity aims not only to save babies' lives but also to ensure that those affected receive the necessary care and support.
Since its inception in 2018 by Rob Allen after losing his daughter Niamh, Sands United has grown significantly. Today, there are approximately 40 teams nationwide, each providing a safe space for grieving fathers. The Ashby chapter, founded on Father's Day in 2020, quickly attracted over 20 members. Through weekly matches and activities, participants celebrate their lost loved ones while breaking societal norms that discourage emotional expression among men.
Football serves as more than just a game for the members of Sands United; it acts as a powerful tool for building trust and forming bonds. By engaging in team play, members create a supportive network where they feel understood and accepted. This innovative approach helps alleviate the burden of grief that many carry silently. Participants describe the experience as transformative, emphasizing how it enables them to open up about their emotions in ways traditional counseling might not.
The journey began when Rob Allen established the first Sands United team following the tragic death of his daughter Niamh. Since then, the movement has expanded rapidly, with nearly 40 clubs now spread throughout the UK. Each team offers a sanctuary where men can express themselves freely without fear of judgment. Matt Buckley, founder of SUFC Ashby, highlights the importance of creating spaces where societal expectations such as maintaining a 'stiff upper lip' no longer dictate behavior. Instead, these gatherings encourage vulnerability, allowing men to share their stories and connect deeply with others facing similar challenges.
Members of Sands United honor their deceased children during training sessions and matches by wearing jerseys adorned with their names. These personalized shirts symbolize the presence of their 'angels,' reminding everyone of the cherished memories they hold dear. Special events like games held on Father's Day and Baby Loss Awareness Week further strengthen the sense of community among participants. Before every match, a minute of silence unites the team in reflection, reinforcing their shared purpose and mutual understanding.
Alex Garner, one of the newer members, underscores the stigma associated with male grief and mental health. He believes this reluctance stems from generational attitudes that equate strength with stoicism. However, joining Sands United has shown him that expressing vulnerability actually fosters greater resilience. For Alex, the team represents much more than just a group of friends—it’s a lifeline offering comfort and solidarity in times of need. Encouraging others experiencing loss, he extends an invitation to join, assuring them of unwavering support within this compassionate circle.