I spent a significant portion of my childhood grappling with my place in the world. My distinct, somewhat awkward personality didn't conform to the expectations placed on Black girls from my neighborhood. This led to years of futile attempts to mask my true self in order to fit in, only to realize later that my negative experiences were deeply ingrained in one-sided narratives of Black identity.

Unveiling the Journey of Awkward Black Kids

Navigating the Dual Burden

As I delved into the pages of "Weirdo", a middle-grade graphic novel memoir released in 2024 by Tony Weaver Jr., I couldn't help but see echoes of my own childhood. A young Black child striving to establish a sense of self despite the overpowering voices of others. "Being an awkward or alternative Black child often means shouldering a dual burden. One must deal with the regular challenges of adolescence while also feeling estranged from both mainstream and Black cultural expectations," shares Mercedes Samudio, DSW, LCSW, the author and founder of Shame Proof Parenting. This can result in bullying, whether due to being considered "too strange" or "not Black enough". "Bullying can intensify feelings of isolation, self-doubt, and shame," Dr. Samudio continues. "These children may internalize the message that their unique identity has no place, which can have a detrimental impact on their self-esteem and mental health."

These kids face a constant struggle, constantly questioning where they belong and if their true selves are acceptable. It's a battle that many of us can relate to, yet often goes unacknowledged.

The pressure to conform to certain norms can be overwhelming, leaving these children feeling lost and alone.

The Importance of Representation

Dr. Samudio emphasizes the significance of positive representation in media, such as in "Weirdo". "When awkward Black characters are portrayed as vibrant, successful, or simply unapologetically themselves, it challenges stereotypes and provides a sense of visibility and belonging. These stories act as a mirror for kids who feel overlooked, offering them hope that their uniqueness is a strength, not a weakness," she explains.

For instance, the book's references to gaming culture like Pokemon and manga, as well as the experiences of being one of the few Black kids in high-achieving programs, closely mirrored my son's life. Weaver notes that although it wasn't explicitly stated in "Weirdo", seeing Black children at school but not in his classes sent a powerful message.

"I arrive at school and see Black kids around, but when it's time for my class and I sit with my group, where do all the Black kids go? There's an unspoken message that for those who look like me, only a few can make it here. Only a few are allowed to occupy this space or meet the criteria. It's easy for young people to start criticizing themselves instead of questioning the criteria," he shares.

Lessons from the Character's Journey

Throughout the book, the main character, Tony, embarks on a journey to embrace and love himself beyond the confines of binary thinking. The 11-year-old protagonist has a deep passion for comic books, anime, and video games. However, his classmates taunt him for being a "weirdo".

In the process of Tony learning to accept himself, he provides young readers like my son with an opportunity to redefine their fragmented, one-dimensional understanding of who they are. It's like tending to a garden, where one takes stock of their passions and discovers the path to personal growth.

"It enables you to assess yourself and identify where your joy lies, giving you practical steps to move forward and encourage personal development," says Weaver. "If we know what makes our 'garden' thrive, we know how to cultivate and nurture it. This is a skill that kids need to develop, but it's often overlooked."

Helping Kids Embrace Their Uniqueness

Weaver hopes that "Weirdo" goes beyond normalizing negative emotions and offers practical strategies to overcome them. Embracing one's weirdness as a source of strength is crucial, especially in a society that often promotes uniformity over authenticity.

Parents can play a vital role in this process by establishing a deep connection with their children, showing them unconditional love. This work should start before any issues arise.

Dr. Samudio also encourages parents to seek out media, spaces, and communities that celebrate their children's interests. It could be a comic convention, a STEM camp, or a local gathering. By doing so, we can help kids feel seen and valued for who they truly are.

I'm grateful that "Weirdo" exists to facilitate these important conversations with my children. The intersection of identity, representation, and mental health is not just significant; it has the power to transform lives. When we support awkward or alternative Black kids, we are not only helping them cope; we are empowering them to flourish.