In today's digital age, online dating has become a common practice for many individuals seeking companionship. However, with the rise of dating apps comes new challenges, including concerns about trust and safety. Recently, "Are we dating the same guy?" groups have emerged as a platform where women can share experiences and warn others about potentially harmful individuals. One user named Cat encountered such a situation when she met a man online before Christmas. Initially, things seemed promising, but her intuition raised doubts. When she posted his picture in a local group, she discovered that he was also chatting with other women. This revelation raises an important question: should this be considered a significant warning sign?

The phenomenon of these online warning groups began in New York in 2022 on Facebook and quickly spread to over 120 cities worldwide. These groups serve as a protective network for women, offering a space to discuss and expose problematic behavior. They have uncovered various issues, from married men using dating apps to those engaging in abusive practices. In some cases, these groups have even revealed instances of catfishing, where individuals pretend to be someone else, sometimes even using pictures of celebrities. The value of these platforms lies in their ability to provide support and validation for women who may feel uncertain or confused while navigating the complexities of online dating.

However, the impact of these groups is not always positive. Some men feel unfairly targeted and react negatively, leading to the shutdown of certain groups. More commonly, the discussions within these communities can create a sense of distrust towards dating apps and even men in general. The shared stories often paint a bleak picture, making it seem almost irrational to place one’s trust in anyone met online. This atmosphere of skepticism can discourage people from engaging in online dating altogether.

Returning to Cat’s dilemma, it is clear that encountering multiple women who have interacted with the same man is indeed a red flag. While it might be natural for several women to find him attractive, the lack of commitment and the vague warning about toxicity should not be ignored. Ultimately, the decision rests with Cat. She must weigh the information available and consider whether continuing the relationship aligns with her personal boundaries and values. Trusting one's instincts is crucial in any dating scenario, especially when red flags appear.