As a young child, the kitchen was my sanctuary, a place where the aroma of cheese scones and the warmth of melted butter provided solace. At the tender age of four, these culinary delights were not just treats; they were my companions through a tumultuous period marked by family grief and my parents' emotional absence. The loss of my uncle and my father's battle with cancer left a void that I filled with the only constant I knew: food.
My childhood was punctuated by secret indulgences, from the creamy sweetness of condensed milk to the rich, satisfying layers of peanut butter on toast. These were my escapes, my way of coping with the boredom and anxiety that shadowed me. By the age of twelve, my weight had soared, setting me apart in an era when childhood obesity was a rarity.
Adolescence brought with it a series of fad diets, shared with my mother, who was likely grappling with her own food-related demons. The egg and grapefruit diet, the cabbage soup diet—each promised a slimmer figure, a fleeting victory against the scale. At sixteen, I shed a significant amount of weight, but the triumph was short-lived. The ensuing years were a relentless cycle of weight fluctuations and dietary regimens, a testament to my unhealthy fixation with food.
Despite these challenges, I thrived professionally, carving out a fulfilling career as a clinical psychologist within the NHS. My personal life blossomed as well, with marriage and the birth of my child. Yet, the shadow of my food struggles loomed large, a secret that could not be concealed from those closest to me.
My husband, a general practitioner, and I shared a life filled with love and achievement, but my preoccupation with food persisted. The honeymoon phase of our marriage was marred by my return to overeating, a pattern that continued even as we welcomed our son into the world. The exhaustion of new motherhood found me reaching for chocolate as a crutch, a temporary fix for the weariness that enveloped me.
Despite the joy that filled my life, my relationship with food was fraught with guilt and shame. The smallest indulgence could trigger a spiral of uncontrollable cravings, leaving me feeling defeated and hopeless. My professional expertise in psychology offered no shield against the power of addiction.
It was not until my late forties that a serendipitous discovery in the form of a book, 'Escape the Diet Trap' by Dr. John Briffa, illuminated a new path for me. The principles of a low-carbohydrate, ketogenic diet resonated deeply, offering a scientific explanation for the cycle of hunger and overeating that had ensnared me for so long.
Embracing this new approach was not without its challenges. The initial withdrawal from sugar and carbohydrates was grueling, but perseverance led to a remarkable shift in my well-being. My husband, initially skeptical, became a witness to the positive changes that unfolded.
The insights of Bitten Jonsson, a Swedish nurse specializing in food addiction, further deepened my understanding of my condition. The realization that I was an addict was a sobering yet liberating moment, one that necessitated a complete overhaul of my diet. Abstaining from my 'drug foods' became a non-negotiable commitment, one that brought unexpected benefits, such as a reduction in migraines.
My newfound knowledge compelled me to share it with others, leading to the establishment of a food addiction program designed to offer support and guidance to those facing similar struggles.
Retirement from the NHS marked the beginning of a new mission: to raise awareness of food addiction and to provide a lifeline to those in its grip. The International Food Addiction Consensus conference, a collaborative effort with experts worldwide, aims to secure recognition for the condition and pave the way for research and effective treatments.
Together with my nutritionist colleague, we launched a comprehensive program at Combe Grove, blending residential retreats with ongoing support. The early success of this initiative is a testament to the power of stepping away from daily triggers and addressing the emotional underpinnings of our eating habits.
Overcoming food addiction is a journey fraught with challenges, but it is not insurmountable. Envisioning a life free from the hold of 'drug foods' can be a powerful motivator. Open dialogue with loved ones, purging temptation from your environment, and having a contingency plan for cravings are all crucial steps. Embracing new hobbies and seeking support can also fortify one's resolve.
Each setback is an opportunity for growth, a chance to refine strategies and strengthen one's commitment to recovery. The journey is ongoing, but the hope and resilience gleaned from personal experience and the success of others serve as a beacon, illuminating the path forward.