Dating for ‘potential’ is the futures trading of modern romance. A stock that never grows

Sep 22, 2024 at 5:39 AM

The Perils of Dating for Potential: A Gen Z Cautionary Tale

In the ever-evolving landscape of modern dating, a new phenomenon has emerged among the Gen Z cohort: the practice of "dating for potential." This approach, which prioritizes a partner's future promise over their current reality, has become a high-stakes gamble for many young women seeking the perfect catch. However, as this article explores, this strategy often leads to a series of delusional dating disappointments, leaving behind a trail of lessons, prayers, and character analyses in the most colorful of language.

Betting on an Uncertain Future: The Allure and Pitfalls of Dating for Potential

Envisioning the Ideal Partner

The pursuit of potential in dating is a resilient workout in wishful thinking, where 20-something women imagine their future engagement photos before even meeting their match. This "delulu" mindset, as it's been dubbed, is a testament to the unwavering faith some have in the power of cosmic events, the economy, and romantic comedies to transform their partners into the perfect versions of themselves. Imagine betting on a drunk person to carry you across a deadly bridge – that's the kind of high-stakes gamble strong, independent Gen Z women are willing to take in their quest for the best catch.

The Questionnaire Conundrum

In a misguided attempt to secure the ideal partner, these women arm themselves with detailed questionnaires, meticulously gauging their date's "potential" – a stark contrast to the more straightforward approach of their male counterparts, who tend to stick to the basics: "What's your body count?" and "Can I come over?"

Delusional Dating Disappointments

After a series of these delusional dating disappointments, the straight woman's notes app becomes a repository of lessons, prayers, and character analyses of Hinge boys, often expressed in very colorful language. The realization that their initial vision of their partner's potential was nothing more than a mirage can be a humbling and disheartening experience, leading to the familiar refrain: "What was I thinking?"

Investing in the Imaginary

The love for potential can lead women to overlook glaring flaws and invest significant time and effort into nurturing their partners, hoping to mold them into the ideal version they've envisioned. One 25-year-old writer in Kolkata even went so far as to revamp her Spotify, restock her bookshelf, and drain her self-esteem to fit the girlfriend mold for a "mouldy man in college," only to have her efforts thwarted when he sent her an obscenely cropped image of herself as a casual joke. Clearly, his only real potential was in the creep department.

The Divide Among Experts

The love gurus on Instagram and YouTube are predictably divided on the merits of dating for potential. The "High Value Women" squad advises to only invest in men with a "provider mindset," but if the breadwinner bro is too aware of his assets, he's not worth it. It's a delicate balance that many women struggle to strike, often finding themselves trapped in a cycle of emotional manipulation and unfulfilled promises.

The Harsh Reality of Potential Unfulfilled

Not everyone has the patience to wait until their insignificant others realize their imaginary potential. One heroic friend in Chennai dumped a "future filmmaker" who was too broke to even romanticize, describing him as a "sweet boy who wasn't getting anywhere fast in life." For those who have endured the growth graveyard that is their list of exes, the question remains: what potential were they truly dating?In the end, the pursuit of potential in dating may be a high-stakes gamble, but it's one that many Gen Z women are willing to take, driven by a mix of hope, delusion, and a relentless desire to secure the perfect partner. As the article suggests, the true potential may lie not in the partners they choose, but in the resilience and self-awareness they develop through these delusional dating experiences.