COMMENTARY: The Quest for Enough Christmas Music
Dec 8, 2024 at 5:00 AM
This year, a significant portion of my cherished collection met a tragic fate. However, the visions of the world's largest stockpile of Christmas music still vividly dance in my mind. I hold dear a few select songs that I feel I "must" listen to during the yuletide season. But, as with many things in life, my desires often exceed my abilities. My wife, who is not a Grinch by any means, detests being bombarded with a month's worth of holiday sounds at home. So, I have to make precious moments for listening during my work and in my car. In the car, my divided loyalties lead to a mix of Christmas songs and talk radio. It's quite remarkable how smoothly a classic like "Mary, did you know?" transitions into a rather unexpected political rant!Christmas holds a special place in my heart as it's when the old-style crooners truly shine. Imagine singers who actually enunciate clearly! Singers who don't force the microphone down to their very core. Singers who don't get overpowered by a guitar solo that lasts longer than the journey of the Magi.The classic song stylists have given me the opportunity to compare and contrast countless renditions of popular songs. There have been times when I've felt disloyal upon discovering a version that is almost as good as those produced by Bing, Judy, Dean, Frank, Elvis, Perry, Andy, or Burl. It's almost like a sacrilege! (I'll be home for Christmas...unless the house is haunted by jealous legendary performers.)Thanks to YouTube, I've also had the chance to unearth underappreciated "lost" ditties such as the 1947 "Santa Claus for President." (One can only wonder if the next Trump administration will declassify archived documents and finally reveal whether President Harry S Truman did indeed ask, "Are you sure we don't have another A-bomb to drop on, I don't know...the North Pole?")Every A-list artist, rising star, has-been, and never-was seems to have at least one Christmas album buried deep within. Some artists seem to be narcissists and don't truly respect the source material. Trust me: Whenever a song about snowmen or angelic hosts begins with an overly drawn-out note, it's clear that someone is showing off.But who am I to stand in the way of others' dreams? There is something endearing about hearing someone say, "Ever since I was a little tyke, I always dreamed of growing up to record a Christmas song. That, and biting the head off of Ozzy Osbourne."It's fascinating to observe how many agnostics, atheists, and Baal worshippers are eager to belt out spiritual Christmas songs. ("Joy to the world, the royalty check is come! Let earth receive her Almighty Dollar!")I love to discover which songs people adore and which ones drive them crazy. I'll never forget the fellow who gets triggered by Paul McCartney incessantly singing, "Simply having a wonderful Christmastime. Simply having a wonderful Christmastime." ("I wanna hold your throat, I wanna hold your throoooooat!")Don't resist it. Join me in indulging in the magic of Christmas music. The right combination of seasonal music can help you find peace during the hectic holiday season. Peace on Earth requires some effort, as often we are more focused on dealing with our know-it-all in-laws than decorating the halls.Now, I'll put "White Christmas" on the MP3 player. Hey, this version is even better than...Uh oh.Oh, I think I need an exorcist or two this Christmas. Only an exorcist can truly help.Danny Tyree welcomes email responses at tyreetyrades@aol.com.
