CiCi Zhang, now 30 and based outside of Seattle, grew up in China where giving monetary gifts during holidays is customary. Her father initially tried to buy her presents but often missed the mark. By the time she was a teen, he started giving her money. Her husband also had gifting misses like a massage gun and a food scale. They couldn't return the massage gun, so she kept it, and for the scale, they took it back and shopped for a replacement together. Despite her husband's gifting shortcomings, he refuses to give money as a gift. As a compromise, Zhang maintains a comprehensive wish list from which he can select items.

Why Cash is the Preferred Gift

A December 2023 YouGov survey found that 38 percent of global respondents said they'd prefer to get cash for the holidays, the largest share of potential presents. Another 10 percent wanted gift cards. The MassMutual Consumer Spending & Saving Index from 2022 showed similar results: 31 percent of Americans said their ideal gift was cash, and 16 percent said their dream present was a gift card. In countries like Korea and Japan, giving cash as a present is normative and preferred. Cash is easy, quick, and practical as almost everyone could use more money. But in the US and other Western cultures, it's sometimes seen as gauche. 1: Cash is practical and almost too practical. Givers tend to underestimate how much recipients appreciate useful, ordinary presents. Handing someone a card with a check inside is less exciting than seeing their face light up at a puppy. However, after the initial excitement fades, the practical gift gets the most use. 2: The relationship between the giver and the receiver is crucial in cash-giving scenarios. A grandparent tucking a $5 bill into a card for a kid is okay, but it becomes awkward as the age increases. Cash gifts between friends are also tricky. Giving a $5 bill from an aunt to a friend implies they are in need of cash more than a cashmere sweater.

Why Giving Cash is Uncomfortable

Americans have long been leery of giving money to their loved ones for the holidays. In the 1993 book "The Modern Christmas in America: A Cultural History of Gift Giving", William Waits wrote that although some magazines offered advice on how to give money thoughtfully in the early 20th century, the public found the practice "impersonal" and cold. During that time, rural Americans gave food and small handmade presents, while those in cities swapped figurines and other crafts. 1: When shopping, givers often choose an item that shows more about themselves than the recipient. They are focused on the "wow" factor, a present that says they know the recipient well. But most of the time, they are not right. Recipients often know their own desires and would rather receive money to pick what they want. 2: Cash is also seen as thoughtless and low-effort. Writing a check or getting cash from the ATM requires little creative energy. Giving $100 to someone shows nothing about one's knowledge of their hobbies and interests.

Tactful Ways to Give Cash

Etiquette expert Lizzie Post says the annals of etiquette wisdom permit monetary gifts. The key is to make it thoughtful. Include a card with a short note about how you hope they spend the money, like "Use this to buy those Taylor Swift concert tickets" or "Treat yourself to a massage." Consider your relationship with the recipient and only give what is within your budget. 1: Giving a gift card to a grocery store for grandma is likely to go over better than giving her $25 directly. You are putting thought into selecting something related to her. 2: If you feel inclined to ask for cash, offer givers a few other options. For example, when asked what you want for Hanukkah, you can say you're into certain books or a sport and that cash is also fine.If you still lack gifting inspiration, ask yourself what gift you'd like to receive. Is it embroidered socks or cold hard cash? When researchers ask study participants this question, the answer often is "money."